Don’t come to me for advice!
Petra Paterson
DIY therapy from a 50-something chick who can’t afford a therapist. This podcast is raw, real, and a little bit ridiculous—an unfiltered look at one woman fumbling her way through life. From slowly separating from growing-up kids who, on a good day, barely tolerate you, to resisting the urge to strangle the man you love most, emotional eating, a year without vino, pet hair avalanches, and the ever-persistent minus in the bank account…
Episodes
I Got Made Redundant. Why Do I Feel So Good?
Well, it finally fucking happened.After months of uncertainty, endless waiting and wondering what the hell was going on, I've officially been made redundant at 55.And here's the weird part: I actually feel pretty bloody good.Don't get me wrong. I need to earn money. Proper money. And starting again at 55 is bloody scary.But for the first time in months, I'm not waiting for somebody else to decide what happens next.In this first episode of Series 3, I'm sitting in the stable with Derry, talking about the redundancy meeting, some frustrating experiences with management, my not-so-perfect coping mechanisms, and the fear that's actually bothering me most.What if I let myself down?I've spent years working in jobs I didn't particularly love. So what if this is an opportunity to find out what I actually enjoy? Could I build something of my own? Could I earn money doing something I genuinely love?Or will fear send me straight back to something familiar?I don't know yet.But I've got a little breathing room, a few ideas, and absolutely no idea where this is going.Welcome to Series 3.
I'm in the Scary Bit
It's been a while. Again.And there's a reason for that.I went pretty dark for a few weeks. Work is still uncertain, my confidence took a kicking, and the big idea I was getting excited about suddenly became “Who the fuck do you think you are?”So I did what I haven't been very good at doing lately: I got off the sofa, took the dogs out and pressed record.Somewhere along the way I got genuinely lost — which turned out to be a pretty accurate metaphor for where I am in life right now.I don't know whether I'll build the freelance thing. I don't know whether I'll need another job. I don't know exactly how I'm going to make the next chapter work.But I do know I can't stay where I am.We see a lot of people online once they've made it. Once they've changed their life, built the business, got healthy, found themselves.This isn't that story. This is the scary bit before you know whether any of it is going to work.And maybe that's the bit worth sharing.
Why Am I Even Bothering?
Today was one of those days.The weather was beautiful, my holiday is only days away... and somehow my brain still found a reason to focus on everything that was wrong.Then I stepped on the scales.I'd put on two pounds.For a moment, I genuinely thought, "Why am I even bothering?"So I had to stop and remind myself why I started this journey in the first place.It was never just about losing weight.It was about changing my relationship with food, learning not to reach for unhealthy coping mechanisms every time life gets uncomfortable, and becoming someone who doesn't disappear when things get hard.Some days I need that reminder more than others.
I Almost Spiralled Again... But This Time Was Different
Yesterday could easily have turned into one of my old blowout days.A work email triggered that familiar feeling of uncertainty, and before I knew it I was scrolling, avoiding, bargaining with myself, and heading straight towards the spiral I've fallen into so many times before.This time, something was different.In this episode I talk about how I interrupted that spiral, why removing unhealthy coping mechanisms has taught me more than I expected, and the realisation that hit me when I finally allowed myself to sit with uncomfortable feelings.I also discovered something unexpected...Maybe the goal isn't to get rid of the knot in my stomach.Maybe it's to make the butterflies louder.
The Toilet Anxiety Attack Chocolate Couldn't Fix
This week I had what felt like an anxiety attack... sitting on the toilet.Nobody had said anything to me. Nothing had actually happened.But within seconds my throat was closing up, my stomach was in knots and all I wanted was my phone so I didn't have to sit with what I was feeling.That moment made me realise something I've never properly understood before.Maybe the chocolate wasn't the problem.Maybe the wine wasn't the problem.Maybe the endless scrolling isn't the problem either.Maybe they're all just different ways I've learned not to feel rejection, fear and not being "good enough."In this episode I talk about:why waiting for a job offer triggered me so badlyhow constantly moving as a child shaped mewhy I've spent years trying to numb uncomfortable feelingsand why I finally messaged my therapist again.As always, this isn't advice.It's just me figuring life out... out loud.
Retrain The Brain, Frustrated With The Scales, Stepping Out Of My Comfort Zone
This week felt like a turning point.I've finally given what I'm doing a name: Retrain the Brain. It's no longer about another diet or another plan. It's about teaching myself to deal with stress, uncertainty and discomfort without automatically reaching for food, alcohol or other old comfort blankets.The frustrating part? Fourteen days in, the scales still haven't moved.But maybe that's not the biggest win this week.In this episode:• Retrain the Brain – why I've finally given my method a name and what I'm actually trying to change.• Frustrated with the scales – why I'm choosing to trust the process, even when I'm not seeing the results I hoped for.• Stepping out of my comfort zone – from posting on TikTok to finally taking this podcast seriously, and why this week's uncertainty has made me realise it's time to start building something of my own.If you're trying to change your habits, your relationship with food, or simply become a braver version of yourself, I hope this makes you feel a little less alone.
Potential Redundancy, My Future Is Unclear, I'm Still Not Eating The Biscuits
Three days ago I was talking about giving up sweets and learning to deal with stress without reaching for my usual comfort blankets.Then work turned everything upside down.The company I work for lost a major contract and, as things stand right now, my future employment is very much up in the air.My first thought?A large glass of red wine.What surprised me was what didn't happen next.No wine.No chocolate.No biscuits.No desperate raid of the sweet cupboard.In this episode I'm talking about uncertainty, potential redundancy, accountability, and what happens when life gets stressful right after you've decided to change some old habits.We also get into:Why telling people your intentions can change your behaviourThe difference between wanting relief and wanting sweetsBeing 55 and wondering what comes nextFinding my voice and taking this podcast more seriouslyTrying not to panic when the future suddenly feels uncertainA very real-time update from the middle of a slightly chaotic week.
Stopping Sweets, The Panic Of Letting Go, What Smoking Taught Me, Learning To Cope Without A Crutch
I've made a decision.For now, I've stopped eating sweets completely.And honestly, it's making me a bit twitchy.In this episode I'm talking about why giving up chocolate, biscuits, cakes and all the other sugary comfort foods feels so much bigger than just changing what I eat.I've been comparing it a lot to stopping smoking and changing my relationship with alcohol, and finding a lot of parallels.I'm talking about:Why I keep reaching for sweet stuff when life feels uncomfortableThe relief I get from eating itWhy I don't think it actually solves anythingThe connection between procrastination and comfort eatingWhat smoking taught me about changing habitsWhy I'm scared of letting this one goThe experiment I'm starting and where my head is at right nowThis is basically a real-time account of me trying to work out whether I can learn to deal with stress, pressure and uncomfortable feelings without reaching for sugary comfort foods.
The Panic Of Letting Go Comfort Eating, Sweets & Facing The Truth
⚠️ Trigger warning: This episode contains discussion of binge eating, self-induced vomiting, disordered eating behaviours, comfort eating and weight struggles.This is a very raw one.I don't have a solution. I don't have a plan. I don't have a neat ending where I've figured everything out.This is basically a real-time account of where my head is at right now.I've reached a point where I don't like what I see in photos and videos anymore, and I'm trying to work out what to do with that.The obvious answer is to lose some weight.The less obvious bit is that losing weight means looking honestly at my relationship with sweets, comfort eating and all the stories I've carried around food for most of my life.And honestly? The thought of changing that makes me feel a bit panicky.In this episode I talk about growing up around overeating, binge eating, using food for comfort, my complicated history with diets, and why I feel like I'm standing at a crossroads with all of this.
Creating Unnecessary Stress, Learning to Come Back Faster, Why AI Has Become Part of My Recovery
Why can something as simple as renewing a driver's licence feel completely overwhelming?In this episode, I talk about how I managed to create far more stress than the situation deserved, why the worrying was harder than the actual task, and what happened when my nervous system finally decided it had had enough.I also share one of the biggest changes I've made over the last year: learning how to come back faster when life knocks me off course. Instead of disappearing for weeks or months, I'm learning to understand what's happening and get back on track without turning every setback into a crisis.And yes, I talk openly about AI, why I still feel reluctant to mention it, the concerns I still have about it, but why the check-ins have become such a powerful tool in helping me understand my habits, my stress, and myself.
Disappearing Again, Missing the People Who Kept It Real, My 100 Day Challenge
A virus knocked me sideways, my routines went out the window, and before I knew it I'd stopped podcasting, stopped posting, and convinced myself I had nothing worth saying.But this episode made me realise something.I recently found myself missing a creator whose videos helped me through some difficult times. Not because he was perfect. Not because he had all the answers. Simply because he documented the journey honestly.And it got me thinking.Maybe we never really know who's quietly listening.Maybe we never know who needs to hear that they're not the only one struggling to get back on track.In this episode I talk about:Why I keep disappearing when life gets messyThe creator I miss and what he taught meA conversation that reminded me why I started sharing in the first placeThe small influence we all have, whether we realise it or notMy new 100-day challenge to show up consistently
Holiday Booked, Old Triggers Back, Why Mounjaro Can't Ever Be My Solution
We booked a holiday. Egypt. Five stars. Caves hotel. Fred and Wilma style. First proper trip as a couple in over twenty years — basically a very late honeymoon.And within about thirty seconds of booking it, my old brain did exactly what it always does. The panic, the timeline, the "I need to do something." And yes — Mounjaro crossed my mind. Of course it did. It's everywhere.But here's why it will never be my solution. Not now, not for this holiday, maybe not ever. Because I'm not overweight because I'm hungry. Hunger is genuinely the last reason I eat. And no medication fixes what's actually broken underneath.This episode is also an honest update on my streak system — including the chocolate cheesecake day that nearly went off the rails and didn't. And what I'm actually planning to do in Egypt. Spoiler: absolutely nothing differently.If you've ever felt that familiar panic the second something nice gets booked — this one's for you.I'm Petra. Don't come to me for advice.
The Streak, The Spiral, and Saying My Weight Out Loud
I scratched my eye trying to put on fake eyelashes, ended up in A&E, felt sorry for myself… and turned it into a full 7-day binge spiral.You know the one.Where one thing turns into “fuck it, the whole week doesn’t count anymore”.I talk about:the streak system I’m using (very loosely… not a rule book)how quickly things can slipwhy it took me 7 days to get back on trackthe internal arguments that nearly make me quit every timeAnd I say my weight out loud. Which I really didn’t want to do.This isn’t advice.It’s just what it actually looks like while you’re in it.
Little Wins, Not Drinking Wine, Not Punching the Condescending Doctor, Still Showing up
This week, having a shower counted as a win.Not exactly the kind of thing you’d post as a transformation, is it?And I think that’s exactly the problem.Because I am so fed up with this constant feeling that I’m somehow not doing enough…not disciplined enough… not strong enough… not “there” yet…just because I don’t look like someone else’s highlight reel on Instagram.The truth is, I am showing up.Just not in a way that looks impressive.This week that looked like:not drinking wine when I wanted to,getting through the day without disappearing into old habits,cooking something instead of ordering rubbish,going to the gym even when I really didn’t feel like it…and yes — sometimes just having a shower.And I’m starting to realise something.These are the things that actually move me forward.Not the big, dramatic, all-or-nothing changes.Not the “this is how you completely transform your life” nonsense.Just… small decisions.Made over and over again.Especially on the days where everything feels a bit shit.In this episode, I’m talking about those little wins.Why they matter more than we think.And why constantly feeling like we’re falling shortmight be the very thing that keeps us stuck.No big lessons.No perfect plan.Just real life… and trying again anyway.
The Shit Show Continues, Existential Panic at 5:30am, Surviving the Week Without Numbing Out
This week my brain decided I was about to lose my job.Nobody actually said that. Nobody told me I was doing a bad job. But after a colleague was fired and a rather hostile meeting about “being watched and audited,” my nervous system went straight into threat mode.5:30am wake-ups. Arguing with management in my head. Planning financial collapse before breakfast.Normally weeks like this end in alcohol, junk food and shutting down.This time something different happened.Instead of numbing out, I checked in every day, tried to stay grounded, and focused on what I could actually control.Result: I survived the week… and somehow even lost three pounds.This episode isn’t really about weight loss anymore. It’s about learning how not to burn my life down every time my brain panics.
When Stress Wins for a While, The Dark Place, Learning to Act Myself Out
This episode almost didn’t happen.The last couple of weeks completely stress-tested my ability to cope. Between our pony Elvis being diagnosed with laminitis, work feeling uncertain, and the general chaos of the world right now, my brain tipped into what I call “the dark place.”A weekend of doom scrolling, junk food, wine, and doing absolutely nothing showed me again how quickly stress can knock me off track.In this episode I talk honestly about what happens in my brain during those stress spirals, why you can’t think your way out of them, and how small actions – not motivation – are what slowly pull me back out.I also share how I’ve been using AI as a kind of thinking tool to help me regain control when everything feels overwhelming.This is not a life guide. Just a real conversation about what it looks like to fall down, get back up, and try again.
Quitter’s Day: Living With Body Issues — and Learning to Become Someone Who Doesn’t
This episode explores the gap between people who never seem to question their bodies and those of us who carry that tension for decades.I talk about identity, old baggage, and the pressure women live under to discipline and correct themselves — and why real change doesn't come from thinking harder, but from staying with different behaviours long enough for something to shift.What’s emerging feels lighter.Less effortful.And easier to keep going.
My New Year’s resolution: Keep doing what I’m doing -because it actually seems to work! I know! Shocker!
In this episode, I’m back behind the mic and finally figured out how to add music to my podcast — which feels like a small miracle and a good sign for 2026.I talk about why I stepped back from social media, how I learned to quiet the outside noise, and what changed when I stopped letting other people define what MY “well-lived day” should look like.I reflect on last year, my relationship with alcohol, why stopping drinking didn’t magically fix everything, and how I realised the real issue wasn’t willpower — it was stress regulation. I share how using ChatGPT as a daily check-in tool helped me stop burning out, spiralling, and starting over again and again.Weight loss is still an important goal for me — not for how I look, but because extra weight affects my mobility and pain levels — and I talk about why focusing on foundations first is finally making things feel sustainable.This episode is about staying present, keeping things simple, and learning how to move forward without turning life into one long self-improvement project.🎵 As promised, here’s the link to my little pick-me-up / happy song — created with Suno:https://suno.com/s/r2wqPY99ftYT5QKy
History, Horses, and Hell Yes, Stepping Out of My Comfort Zone, Breaking Out of the Bubble
I thought I was signing up to point people down a path in a high-vis vest. Instead, I ended up part of a 500-year-old tradition with horses, carriages, and chaos. More than that, I realised how small my world had become — nights on the sofa, routines that kept me safe but disconnected. Volunteering for the Lichfield Sheriff’s Ride pulled me out of that bubble, reminded me what real connection feels like, and showed me the growth that comes from saying yes instead of no.
When People Give You Advice You Never Asked For…
This morning I got a comment—unsolicited advice, the kind that used to send me into a spiral.I would’ve taken it as truth.I would’ve overthought it, deleted my post, and probably changed how I showed up online.But not today.In this episode, I share the moment that reminded me just how far I’ve come. The way I responded. The way I didn’t shrink. And the power of standing tall in the face of opinions you didn’t ask for.This one’s for anyone who’s ever felt small after someone else’s judgment. Anyone who’s stayed silent to avoid discomfort.I’m not doing that anymore.We talk boundaries, self-trust, social media weirdness, and yes—AI, real life, and how I’m using it to stay productive without burning out
Family Updates, Boundaries, and Why Consistency Still Scares Me
Join me for a very real catch-up: proud mum updates, family tension that nobody talks about, and why consistency still feels terrifying. Plus, my pony throws over the wheelbarrow mid-recording. Because of course he does
Getting Back on the Horse—Literally and Emotionally
I’ve always been a nervous rider. Even when I was younger, even before the bad falls.It’s never been easy to get in the saddle—but this time, something’s different.I’m still nervous. Still cautious. But there’s a flicker of enjoyment now. A quiet moment of oh… this could actually feel good.In this episode—recorded from the car, dogs in the backseat, straight after a ride—I talk about getting back on my horse after more than a year off, and what it feels like to finally maybe start enjoying something that’s always come with tension.It’s not just about horses. It’s about slow healing, trying again, and letting joy sneak in even when your body’s still a bit braced.There’s middle-aged rambling, ADHD jumps, mother-daughter dynamics, and real talk about physical pain, fear, and finding new rhythms.Hit play if you’re in the middle of your own “maybe this could feel good” moment.
Controversial Opinions & Other Summer Stories
Warning: I start with blisters and end up talking about Trump. In between, there’s a dodgy perm in Bangkok, a henna tattoo on a boob, and some properly honest reflections about the state of the world right now. If you like podcasts that are structured and tidy, this ain’t it. But if you’re up for some raw rambling with heart, welcome in.
Turns Out I Was the A**hole
I had this version of someone in my head for years.Thought I was the smart one. The driven one. The one who knew better.But life has a way of humbling you.And eventually… yeah—turns out I was the a**shole.This one’s about ego, old stories, and eating that unavoidable slice of humble pie.If you’ve ever had to face your own bullshit—you’re in good company.
Saved by a Penis Pipe in Malaysia… and Watching My Kids Turn Out Better Than Me
My son is about to be sworn into the Army Reserves. My daughter just finished her A-levels. They’re becoming grounded, driven humans — far more steady than I ever was at their age.When I was 18–20, I was a mess. I’d already failed three apprenticeships and spent years trying to outrun myself — first to London, then Southeast Asia, then the U.S. I drank too much, smoked too much, and kept dragging my chaos with me.I was nearly arrested in Malaysia once… but got saved by a penis pipe.This episode is about body shame, running, reckoning, and unexpected parenting pride. It’s about watching your kids build solid lives while remembering how lost you were — and feeling all the feels about it.If you’ve ever thought How the hell are they doing so well when I was still a disaster? — this one’s for you.
I Sabotaged My Own Momentum, Work Stress, and a Week of Spiral Eating
A rough week, too much chocolate, and a hard look at why I self-sabotage when things start working. This one’s real, raw, and might hit close to home if you’ve ever spiraled just as something good was gaining momentum.
Joining the Gym, Going Commando, Battling a Sports Bra
Five episodes in, and I still haven’t got a bloody clue what I’m doing. There’s no fancy editing here—just me, walking around my living room, recording this on my iPhone and hoping ChatGPT can clean up the background noise.But this isn’t about technical perfection. It’s about real life. Real thoughts. Real bloody bras that won’t roll down over damp skin.In this episode, I talk about joining the gym—not for weight loss, but to actually speak to people! I share what it felt like to go for my first swim in years, why I’m doing it for my dopamine, not my body, and how I ended up stuck halfway into a sports bra… and going home commando.
Involuntary HRT Withdrawal, Rows with the Husband, and Smelly Boobs
This week I found out my HRT hadn’t just gone missing—it had been quietly cancelled without so much as a heads-up. That set the tone. A beach day turned into a row with the husband (no divorce lawyer was called), some uncomfortable truths surfaced, and—also—my boobs have started smelling weird lately when I take off my sports bra. It’s hormonal, emotional, a bit sweaty, and very real
100 Days Alcohol-Free, Realising Alcohol Wasn’t the Problem, Learning to Hack Happiness on a Molecular Level
After 100 days without alcohol, I expected clarity, joy, energy. Instead, I felt flat — and that’s what led to one of the biggest epiphanies of my life.This episode is about discovering that alcohol was never the core issue — it was just one of many crutches I used to chase dopamine. The real problem? A completely overloaded and imbalanced brain.I talk about the emotional crash that came after quitting, the habits I unknowingly clung to, and the massive shift that came when I realised I can literally influence my happiness on a molecular level.This isn’t a diet story. This isn’t about willpower. It’s the beginning of rebuilding my brain from the inside out.If you want to learn with me, contact me under:https://www.instagram.com/petrasempowermentzone?igsh=bGZya3BlNzU4MXpl&utm_source=qrhttps://www.facebook.com/share/1FGmpyZBcd/?mibextid=wwXIfr
I, I, I and Other Cringeworthy Stuff — (Featuring Helga, My Inner Bitch)
This episode nearly didn’t happen — because Helga (my inner bitch) was loud, rude, and relentless.She told me I was ridiculous. That I’m not good enough, that no one cares, and honestly, that I should just shut up and go back to being invisible.She said it with that voice — you know the one. Flat, smug, and mean.But here we are.I talk about what it takes to actually push through that voice — not in a motivational way, but in a dragging-yourself-forward kind of way.Also:Going out without my phone (because it was dead) and realising... I actually liked being more present.Feeling the relief of leaving it all in the podcast — instead of splattering my life across Instagram.And seriously questioning why we feel the need to constantly “show up” on social media in the first place.If you’ve ever been bullied by your own brain, Helga and I have a seat for you.
Yesterday This Seemed Like a Good Idea... Now Where's My Inhaler?
In my very first episode, I talk about starting something new, battling mini panic attacks (and no, I don't even have an inhaler), and figuring it out as I go. If you're scared of new ventures too — welcome to the club.
Trailer
It's happening!!!