Enneagram with JB: A Podcast About Enneagram Personalities
Jackie Brewster
Certified Enneagram coach Jackie Brewster offers a fun, fresh approach to learning more about the Enneagram, while encouraging listeners to grow in empathy and understanding with both themselves and the people around them.
Episodes
When Being Needed Replaces Being Known (with Therapist Emily Zeller)
What happens when your desire to love and connect with others slowly turns into a need to be indispensable?In this episode of Enneagram with JB, I sit down with therapist and Enneagram Two Emily Zeller for an honest conversation about Enneagram subtypes—and specifically what it feels like to experience the world as a Sexual, or one-to-one, Two.Emily shares how discovering her subtype helped her understand the intensity she had always felt in relationships, her tendency to overgive, and the unconscious belief underneath it all: If I can make myself indispensable, maybe I won't be left.We talk about why the Sexual subtype isn't simply about sex, but about chemistry, intensity, attraction, connection, and the desire to be deeply known and chosen.Emily also gives us an incredibly powerful description of the struggle underneath the Sexual Two pattern: sacrificing being known for being needed.Throughout our conversation, we explore what happens when Twos overgive without recognizing their own needs, why resentment and withdrawal can become warning signs, and how the passion of pride can show up not only as making yourself important—but also as shrinking yourself because you're afraid of being “too much.”We also talk about the body. What happens physically when you've spent so much time focused on everyone else that you've stopped noticing yourself? Emily shares how therapy, movement, meditation, intentional alone time, and reconnecting with the body have helped her become more aware of what she actually needs.And ultimately, this conversation comes back to something I love about the Enneagram: awareness gives us choice.The goal isn't to get rid of our personality or shame ourselves for the strategies that once helped us feel safe and connected. It's to recognize when those old patterns are running the show so we have the freedom to choose something different.In this episode, we talk about:The three Enneagram instincts: Self-Preservation, Social, and Sexual/one-to-oneWhy subtype can dramatically change how an Enneagram type presentsWhat it's actually like to be a Sexual TwoThe difference between wanting to be liked and needing to be chosenAttraction and “seduction” beyond sexualityOvergiving, hidden expectations, and resentmentThe Sexual Two's desire to become indispensableWhy Sexual-dominant women are sometimes mistyped as EightsPride in Type Two—and why it can look like both inflation and shrinkingThe difference between being needed and being truly knownHow Type Two patterns show up in the bodyLearning to recognize your needs before reaching exhaustionMovement, stillness, faith, and practices that bring us back to ourselvesHow awareness creates greater freedom and choiceOne of my favorite reminders from this conversation is that our patterns aren't random. They developed for a reason. At one point, they helped us navigate relationships, get our needs met, or experience connection.But what worked then may not be what we need now.Growth begins when we can slow down long enough to notice what's happening underneath the behavior—and realize we have a choice.Connect with EmilyEmily Zeller is a therapist and Enneagram consultant who works with couples, women in the postpartum season, and individuals wanting to better understand themselves and their relationships through the Enneagram.You can find Emily on Instagram and Facebook at @IEmilyZeller and learn more about her Enneagram consulting work at EmilyZeller.com.Emily provides therapy to clients located in Pennsylvania, Ohio, and Illinois and offers Enneagram consulting beyond those states.Connect with JackieFollow Enneagram with JB for more conversations about the Enneagram, relationships, psychology, personal growth, and becoming more aware of the patterns that shape the way we live and love.
Exploring Personality and Wholeness with Jeff Cook
What if our Enneagram type tells us more than simply what we do? What if it helps us understand what our nervous system is trying to accomplish underneath our patterns?In this episode, I sit down with my friend Jeff Cook to talk about Daniel J. Siegel and the PDP Group's book Personality and Wholeness in Therapy and why Jeff believes it is such an important contribution to the Enneagram conversation.We explore the intersection of the Enneagram, psychology, neuroscience, and emotional regulation—and how this framework may give us new language for understanding some very old Enneagram wisdom.One of the questions underneath this conversation is:What is my system fundamentally trying to accomplish?Rather than judging our anger, sadness, fear, or personality patterns, we can become curious about them. What are they protecting? What are they responding to? And what might they be trying to tell us?We also talk about what happens when we begin to understand the Enneagram not simply as a description of who we are, but as a doorway into greater self-awareness and growth.If you love exploring the deeper "why" underneath the Enneagram, you're going to love this conversation.Connect with us:Jackie: Instagram | WebsiteJeff | Around the Circle podcast
When Life Changes: Transitions, Stress & What the Enneagram Reveals (with Courtney Bareman)
Life transitions have a way of bringing parts of us to the surface. In this episode, I’m joined by my friend Courtney Bareman for an honest conversation about the seasons we’re both navigating. Courtney just sent her youngest to kindergarten, while I’m entering a year of senior pictures, college decisions, an engagement, wedding planning, and the realization that my role as a mom is changing.Different seasons. A lot of the same emotions.We talk about what happens when change bumps up against our personalities—and why our reactions in stressful seasons aren't necessarily signs that we're failing. Sometimes they're information.We explore how our Enneagram stress movements can act like an indicator light on the dashboard, showing us that something needs our attention. We also dig into the three Enneagram subtypes—self-preservation, social, and one-to-one—and how they can help explain what we instinctively reach for when life feels uncertain.Wherever you find yourself in your story right now, remember: You don't have to rush through one chapter just because another one is beginning.Connect with us:
I Thought Life Would Look Different by Now
What happens when you arrive at a season of life you thought would look completely different?In this solo episode, I get personal about turning 49 and realizing that life hasn’t exactly slowed down the way I imagined it would. With kids growing up, aging parents, changing relationships, empty nesting on the horizon, and a new book in the works, life feels both incredibly full and incredibly good—and also exhausting.I explore the quiet expectations we carry about the future: When the kids get older, I’ll have more time. When I accomplish this, I’ll finally feel successful. When things settle down, I’ll be present. When I finally get there, I’ll be okay.But there is always another “then.”Through the lens of the Enneagram, I look at how each personality type has its own version of what it believes will finally bring safety, worth, peace, satisfaction, or freedom. I also share how my own Type Seven patterns can keep me living slightly ahead of my life—physically present today while mentally organizing tomorrow.This episode is an invitation to notice where your personality may be keeping you focused on the past or future instead of experiencing the life that is happening right now.Connect with Jackie: Instagram | Website
Understanding the Intersection of the Enneagram and Emotional Intelligence (with Scott Allender)
Most of us assume that if we understand ourselves, change will naturally follow. But that's rarely how growth works.You can know your Enneagram type, recognize your patterns, understand your childhood experiences, and still find yourself reacting the same way in your relationships.Why?Because self-awareness is only the beginning.In this conversation, I sit down with emotional intelligence coach and author Scott Allender to explore the intersection of the Enneagram, emotional intelligence, and emotional healing. Together we discuss why personality isn't the destination—it's the doorway.You'll discover why awareness alone doesn't create transformation, how our bodies and emotions shape the way we experience the world, and why curiosity is one of the most important tools for lasting growth.Reflection QuestionsWhat pattern do you notice yourself repeating most often?What might that pattern have originally been trying to protect?What story have you been believing about yourself?Where do you notice emotions showing up in your body?What would change if you responded to yourself with curiosity instead of judgment?If this conversation encouraged you, share it with someone who is ready to move beyond simply knowing themselves and begin experiencing real transformation.Be sure to subscribe to Enneagram with JB for weekly conversations that integrate the Enneagram, psychology, emotional health, and faith to help you understand yourself, strengthen your relationships, and continue the lifelong journey of becoming who you were created to be.
How to Apologize & Repair (The Skill Most of Us Never Learned)
Most of us were never actually taught how to apologize.We learned by watching the adults around us, and for many of us, conflict was either avoided altogether or escalated without meaningful repair. So it's no wonder so many of us enter adulthood, marriage, parenting, and friendships without knowing how to repair after we've hurt someone.In this episode, Courtney and I have an honest conversation about conflict, emotional regulation, childhood patterns, and why healthy relationships aren't built on perfection; they're built on repair.You'll learn why apologies often fall flat, what gets in the way of genuine connection, and five practical steps that can help you rebuild trust after conflict.If this conversation encouraged you, share it with someone you love. You never know who needs permission to believe that relationships don't require perfection—they require people who are willing to repair.
The Emotions You Were Never Taught To Feel
Most of us were taught what to do with our thoughts. Few of us were taught what to do with our emotions.In this episode, Courtney Bareman and I explore why certain emotions feel uncomfortable, overwhelming, or even inaccessible. Together, we'll unpack how family systems, personality patterns, and protective strategies shape our relationship with emotions and why avoiding what we feel often creates more suffering than feeling it.You'll learn:Why many of us were never taught how to safely experience difficult emotionsHow personality influences the emotions we struggle to accessWhy unprocessed emotions often show up in our relationships, behaviors, and nervous systemsPractical ways to increase emotional awareness without becoming overwhelmedWhether you're new to the Enneagram or have been doing personal growth work for years, this conversation offers practical insights to help you move from automatic patterns toward greater awareness, freedom, and connection.Because healing doesn't begin when we stop feeling. It begins when we become willing to feel what is already there.Connect with Jackie: Instagram | WebsiteConnect with Courtney: Instagram | WebsiteInterested in coaching? Learn more about one-on-one coaching and Enneagram-informed personal growth work at ennegramwithjb.com.If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend.
Becoming Who You Are: Risk, Reinvention and the Path You Didn’t Plan (with Stephen Brewster)
What happens when life doesn’t go according to plan, but somehow still becomes exactly what it needed to be?In this deeply personal episode, I sit down with my husband, Stephen Brewster, to talk about becoming — not through a straight line, but through risk, pivots, disappointment, growth, counseling, faith and learning to trust the next step before you can see the whole picture.Stephen shares his journey from the music industry, to church leadership, and eventually into artist management in his early 40s. We reflect on marriage, frequent moves, starting over, learning through counseling, understanding personality patterns through the Enneagram and the tension between safety and risk.This conversation is honest, grounding, and full of wisdom for anyone who feels like they’re behind, stuck or questioning whether it’s too late to step into something new.Follow along for more conversations around the Enneagram, nervous system awareness, growth, relationships, and becoming who you were created to be:On the web | On Instagram
Becoming You Isn’t What You Think It Is (with Abbey Howe)
What does it actually look like to become yourself?In this conversation, I sit down with Enneagram educator and author Abbey Howe to explore the real, often messy process of growth.From building a platform through storytelling and humor, to navigating identity shifts in motherhood, to learning how to move from awareness into real transformation, this episode goes deeper than surface-level Enneagram insight.Abbey shares openly about her journey as an Enneagram 3, including the tension between productivity and presence, the identity loss that can come with major life transitions, and the work of redefining worth beyond performance.We also talk about her new book, My Enneagram: A Visual Guide to Find Your Personality Type, Stress Less, and Live Your Dreams.If you’ve ever felt stuck in your patterns, overwhelmed by a life transition, or unsure how to actually apply what you know about yourself—this conversation is for you.Jackie: On the web | On InstagramAbbey: On the web | On Instagram | On TikTok
When Stress Hits, Your Type Tightens: Part 2
This is part two of a two-part conversation with licensed mental health counselor Rob Goetsch.This episode explores a different kind of stress; the kind that comes from your relationships, not just your to-do list. This is attachment stress, and it activates your nervous system quickly, making your Enneagram patterns feel louder, faster, and harder to shift. When stress hits, your body responds almost instantly, and it can stay activated long after the moment has passed, especially if your mind keeps replaying it. Defense mechanisms kick in during in these moments, not as flaws, but as protective strategies aimed at helping you cope and guard what matters most.Awareness won’t immediately change these responses, but it does create space to understand them. And real change starts with regulation, supporting your body so your patterns can soften, instead of tightening, under pressure.Jackie: On the web | On InstagramRob: On Instagram
When Stress Hits, Your Type Tightens: Part 1
This is part one of a two-part conversation with licensed mental health counselor Rob Goetsch.This episode explores a different kind of stress; the kind that comes from your relationships, not just your to-do list. This is attachment stress, and it activates your nervous system quickly, making your Enneagram patterns feel louder, faster, and harder to shift. When stress hits, your body responds almost instantly, and it can stay activated long after the moment has passed, especially if your mind keeps replaying it. Defense mechanisms kick in during in these moments, not as flaws, but as protective strategies aimed at helping you cope and guard what matters most.Awareness won’t immediately change these responses, but it does create space to understand them. And real change starts with regulation, supporting your body so your patterns can soften, instead of tightening, under pressure.Jackie: On the web | On Instagram
Letting Go of Control and Allowing Yourself To Be Seen
Jackie: On the web | On Instagram // Courtney: On the web | On InstagramIn this episode, I sit down with my friend Courtney to have an honest, unfiltered conversation about what it really looks like to let go of control and begin allowing yourself to be seen.Courtney is an Enneagram 8—strong, decisive, and deeply protective. But like so many 8s, that strength didn’t come out of nowhere. It was built over time as a way to stay safe, stay ahead, and avoid being hurt.What we explore in this conversation is what happens when that strength stops working the same way it used to.This isn’t a polished story of arrival. It’s a real-time look at becoming.This episode gently explores the shift from:Self-protection → ConnectionControl → TrustArmor → AccessNot by forcing change… but by increasing awareness.Even if you’re not an Enneagram 8, this conversation will likely hit somewhere personal. Because at the core, this isn’t just about type—it’s about the human experience of protecting yourself, staying guarded, and slowly learning it might be safe to let someone inYou don’t have to force yourself to change. But you can begin to notice. And sometimes, that awareness is the very thing that starts to shift everything.You’re not behind. You’re becoming.
What No Longer Serves Me (And Why Letting Go Still Feels So Hard)
In this episode, I'm sharing a personal and honest look at what it means to let go of patterns that once served a purpose, but are now holding you back.Through the lens of the Enneagram and lifespan development, this conversation explores how our identities are shaped over time through protection, adaptation, and meaning-making. What once helped us feel safe, loved, or accepted can quietly become the very thing that limits our growth.I'm opening up about my own experience of reaching a breaking point at 40—realizing I had unintentionally placed myself on a shelf—and the emotional process of taking responsibility, grieving what was lost, and stepping into a more aligned life.This episode is not about fixing yourself. It’s about recognizing what no longer serves you… and beginning, gently, to let it go.In this episode, you’ll hear:How personality patterns are formed across the lifespanWhy letting go often feels disorienting, not freeingThe connection between protection, identity, and the EnneagramWhat it looks like to take responsibility for your own becomingA reflective invitation to help you identify where you may be holding yourself backThis episode also introduces a new series featuring real conversations with different Enneagram types as they share their own process of letting go and becoming.Jackie: On the web | On Instagram
When Helping Becomes Hiding: The Enneagram 2, Trauma, and Finding Yourself After Losing Yourself
In this deeply personal and powerful conversation, Jackie sits down with Ro Elliot to explore a journey of healing, identity, and transformation that didn’t fully begin until age 58.Ro is an Enneagram coach passionate about helping women—especially in midlife transitions—rediscover who they are beyond the roles they’ve carried. Ro shares her story of growing up with deep insecurity, navigating disorganized attachment, walking through chronic illness, and discovering the Enneagram later in life. Together, Jackie and Ro unpack how attachment, faith, and inner work intersect—and why it is never too late to come home to yourself.This episode is for anyone who feels like they’ve lived most of their life for others… and are just now beginning to ask, “Who am I?”If you feel like you’ve spent years showing up for everyone else…this episode is your invitation to gently turn toward yourself.Nothing about you is too late.Nothing about your story is wasted.You are still becoming.Jackie: On the web | On InstagramRo: On the web | On Instagram
Psychological Safety: Why Your Nervous System Shapes Your Relationships
Jackie: On the web | On InstagramMost of us think our struggles in relationships come down to communication, personality, or conflict styles. But what if the real issue is safety?In this episode, we’re talking about psychological safety—what it is, why it matters, and how your nervous system shapes the way you show up in your relationships.Because when safety is missing, you don’t just respond differently, you protect.And those protection patterns? That’s where the Enneagram comes in.This conversation will help you understand:Why you react the way you do under stressHow your Enneagram type tries to create safetyWhat actually creates connection (and what quietly breaks it)How to begin building psychological safety in your everyday relationshipsThis is not about fixing yourself. It’s about understanding what your system has learned—and giving it something new.
Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone Without Betraying Yourself
Jackie: On the web | On Instagram // Courtney: On the web | On InstagramGrowth is not about becoming someone else. It’s about becoming a less defended version of yourself.In this direct and honest conversation, Courtney and I unpack why your comfort zone exists — and why it feels so destabilizing to step outside of it.Because your comfort zone isn’t random. It was built around your core fear.Perfection protects the 1.Being needed protects the 2.Achievement protects the 3.Intensity protects the 4.Distance protects the 5.Preparation protects the 6.Stimulation protects the 7.Strength protects the 8.Harmony protects the 9.At one point, those patterns kept you safe. But over time, protection can quietly become limitation.In this episode, we explore:Why comfort often gets confused with healthHow each Enneagram type hides inside their strengthsWhat “micro-stretches” look like by typeHow to grow without overwhelming your nervous systemThe difference between expansion and self-betrayalWhy discomfort is not always dangerThis is not about blowing up your life or forcing transformation. It’s about small, intentional moves that stretch your reflex without abandoning who you are.Because growth is not betrayal. It’s expansion. And the work is rarely dramatic. It’s disciplined.
When You Realize You’re Wrong: Defense Mechanisms by Type
Jackie: On the web | On Instagram // Courtney: On the web | On InstagramBeing wrong is not a logic problem.It’s an ego problem.In this candid and honest conversation, Courtney and I unpack what actually happens in the moment you realize you misread the situation, overreacted, or got it wrong.Because your Enneagram type does not disappear in that moment.It doubles down.Being wrong threatens something core in each of us:IdentitySafetyBelongingCompetenceAnd when those feel threatened, we defend.In this episode, we break down:Why being wrong feels like exposureHow each Enneagram type reflexively protects themselvesThe difference between apologizing and being regulatedWhy defensiveness is usually fear in disguiseWhat secure attachment looks like in conflictHow to stay present instead of escalating or collapsingFrom the 1 who justifies, to the 3 who reframes, to the 8 who intensifies, to the 9 who minimizes — no type is shamed, but every defense is exposed.Because growth is not simply saying, “I was wrong.”Growth is being able to stay connected while you are wrong.If you want stronger relationships, deeper repair, and less ego-driven conflict, this conversation will challenge you in the best way.
It’s Not Just Chemistry: Adult Love, Attachment & Emotional Safety
Adult love is powerful — and often misunderstood.In this conversation, Rob Goetsch and I unpack what’s really happening beneath romantic connection. Because lasting love isn’t just chemistry. It’s attachment systems, emotional regulation, nervous system responses, trauma history, communication patterns, and the ongoing work of repair.Romantic relationships activate our earliest attachment wiring. That intensity you feel? It isn’t immaturity. It’s memory stored in the body.Together, Rob and I explore how attachment styles shape connection, how emotions function physiologically, how trauma lives in the nervous system, and how the Enneagram adds clarity to relationship patterns. They also examine how love languages can either build connection — or be unintentionally weaponized — when there’s a lack of awareness.This episode offers both insight and practical tools to help you move from reactivity to responsibility, and from confusion to secure connection.In this episode, we cover:Why adult love can feel so intenseHow romantic relationships activate attachment systemsThe physiology of emotions (and why emotions need motion)Why feelings aren’t facts — and how they can mislead usHow attachment styles influence closeness, conflict, and repairThe impact of trauma stored in the bodyThe Enneagram’s role in attachment dynamicsLove languages: helpful framework or hidden weapon?Why specificity in communication builds trustHow emotional safety is created (and rebuilt)Taking responsibility for your attachment patternsWhy relationship work is ongoing — not a one-time fixKey TakeawaysRomantic relationships activate early attachment wiring.Emotions are physiological responses to stimuli — not moral indicators.Attachment styles influence how we pursue, withdraw, protest, or protect.Trauma can live in the body and shape present-day reactions.Feelings are real — but they aren’t always accurate.Understanding love languages improves clarity, but only when paired with accountability.Awareness of attachment patterns opens the door to change.Every relationship requires a tailored approach — there is no universal formula.Trust is built through consistency, repair, and emotional safety.The work of connection is lifelong and intentional.Reflection QuestionsWhen connection feels threatening or overwhelming, what attachment pattern is likely activated in you?Do you treat your feelings as facts — or as information to explore?Where might increased specificity in communication create more safety in your relationship?Jackie: On the web | On Instagram
The Enneagram at Work: Conflict, Communication Styles and Repair That Builds Trust
Jackie: On the web | On InstagramCourtney: On the web | On InstagramWorkplace conflict rarely stays “professional” in the body. What looks like a communication issue on the surface often activates deeper nervous-system needs around safety, respect, belonging, control, and value.In this episode, Courtney Bareman and I explore how conflict shows up at work through the Enneagram and why small moments—an email tone, a missed deadline, a rushed decision—can escalate so quickly.Together, we unpack how each Enneagram type communicates under stress, what tends to trigger frustration or shutdown, and how repair builds trust on teams without avoiding hard conversations.This episode is educational and practical—not therapy and not HR advice—but it offers language you can actually use to navigate real workplace relationships.What You’ll Learn in This EpisodeWhy workplace conflict is often a nervous-system issue, not a personality flawHow pressure, power, and visibility amplify emotional reactions at workThe connection between pet peeves and unmet needsHow each Enneagram type communicates under stressWhy secure teams aren’t conflict-free, but repair-richWhat effective repair sounds like when impact doesn’t match intentEnneagram Triggers & Needs at WorkEach Enneagram type brings specific needs into work relationships—and predictable stress responses when those needs go unmet:Type 1 – Triggered by sloppy standards; needs clarity, responsibility, and appreciation for qualityType 2 – Triggered by exclusion or one-way giving; needs inclusion and reciprocityType 3 – Triggered by inefficiency; needs concise communication and follow-throughType 4 – Triggered by meaninglessness or emotional dismissal; needs respect for people and purposeType 5 – Triggered by time invasion or last-minute demands; needs privacy and clear expectationsType 6 – Triggered by rushed decisions or misuse of power; needs integrity, context, and a planType 7 – Triggered by negativity or micromanagement; needs autonomy and forward motionType 8 – Triggered by gossip or broken promises; needs directness and reliabilityType 9 – Triggered by being overlooked or unclear expectations; needs invitation, clarity, and calm toneRepair & Trust in the WorkplaceSecure teams aren’t built by avoiding conflict. They’re built by how quickly and clearly repair happens when stress shows up.Repair in work relationships includes:Naming impact without defensivenessClarifying intent without minimizing harmResetting expectations after tensionAddressing misalignment before resentment sets inWhen repair becomes normal, trust strengthens—and teams can hold pressure without breaking.Reflection QuestionsTake these into your next work week:What does my stress pattern sound like in communication—do I correct, rescue, perform, withdraw, question, distract, confront, or disappear?What’s one sentence I can use to repair when I’ve come in too hot or too distant?
Friendship Through the Enneagram: Needs, Triggers, and What Secure Connection Looks Like
Jackie: On the web | On InstagramCourtney: On the web | On InstagramFriendship can be one of the most meaningful—and most misunderstood—relationships in adult life. While often treated as “less serious” than romantic relationships, friendship activates the same attachment systems in the nervous system and can surface deep needs around safety, trust, belonging, and repair.In this episode, Courtney Bareman and I explore how friendship functions as an attachment relationship, why it can be so triggering even without romance, and how the Enneagram helps name what’s really happening beneath friendship rupture.Together, we walk through:Why friendship activates attachment alarmsHow unspoken expectations create confusion and resentmentWhat each Enneagram type truly needs in friendshipCommon triggers that lead to withdrawal, over-functioning, or silent ruptureWhat secure friendship actually looks like in real lifeHow honesty, boundaries, and repair build lasting connectionThis conversation offers language for understanding friendship patterns—not to diagnose or pathologize, but to create clarity, compassion, and healthier connection.Key Themes DiscussedFriendship as an adult attachment relationshipNervous system responses in platonic connectionWhy friendship rupture often feels confusing or unresolvedThe difference between conflict and unmet attachment needsMoving from silent protection to direct requestRepair as the foundation of secure friendshipEach Enneagram type brings specific needs into friendship—and specific sensitivities when those needs aren’t met:Type 1 – Needs respect and integrity; struggles with carelessness or imbalanceType 2 – Needs mutuality; struggles when giving isn’t reciprocatedType 3 – Needs appreciation without performance; struggles with vulnerabilityType 4 – Needs depth and emotional honesty; struggles with minimizationType 5 – Needs space with reliable re-entry; struggles with emotional demandType 6 – Needs consistency and trust; struggles with unpredictabilityType 7 – Needs joy with emotional staying power; struggles with heavinessType 8 – Needs loyalty and directness; struggles with indirectness or betrayalType 9 – Needs peace, inclusion, and voice; struggles when conflict feels unsafeSecure friendship isn’t about perfect compatibility—it’s about capacity.Capacity for:Honest communicationEmotional regulationClear boundariesRepair after ruptureNaming needs directlyMost friendship breakdowns aren’t about what happened—they’re about the meaning made when needs go unspoken. The Enneagram helps bring those meanings into the open so connection can be rebuilt intentionally.Reflection QuestionsTake these into the week ahead:When I feel unsure in friendship, do I tend to pursue, withdraw, intensify, distract, or disappear?What is one direct request I could make instead of hinting, managing, or resenting?
Repair is the Work: Parenting Through the Enneagram Across the Lifespan
Secure attachment isn’t built by getting it right all the time.It’s built by coming back when you don’t.In this episode of Enneagram with JB, I'll explore why repair—not perfection—is the foundation of secure attachment, and how repair needs to change as your child’s nervous system develops.Using the Enneagram as a compassionate map (not a label or excuse), this episode walks through what repair looks like with toddlers, elementary-aged kids, teenagers, and adult children, while naming common missteps that unintentionally widen disconnection.You’ll learn:Why rupture doesn’t break attachment—but unrepaired rupture doesHow repair supports felt safety in the nervous systemWhat’s developmentally realistic to expect at each ageWhat not to do when emotions are highOne simple repair mantra you can practice at every stageHow each Enneagram type tends to repair under stressThis episode is for parents who care deeply, feel overwhelmed at times, and want language for coming back into connection—without shame.In this episode, we cover:What repair actually is (and what it’s not)Repair with toddlers: co-regulation over explanationRepair with elementary-aged kids: reassurance and meaningRepair with teens: dignity, timing, and respectRepair with adult children: mutuality and accountabilityType-by-type repair phrases for all 9 Enneagram typesKey takeaway:Your child doesn’t need you perfect.They need you emotionally reachable.Note: This episode is educational and not a substitute for therapy or professional care.Visit me at Enneagram with JB and on Instagram. Considering coaching? Get in touch here.
The January Reset Through the Lifespan: Why Your Enneagram Looks Different in Every Season
January often comes with pressure to reset, reinvent, or get it together—but that expectation ignores something essential: your season of life.In this episode, Jackie is joined by Rob Goetsch, as they explore how balance looks different across the lifespan and why your Enneagram patterns may feel louder, heavier, or more tender in January, depending on your age, capacity, and nervous system state.Through a lifespan and Enneagram lens, this conversation reframes January as a time for stabilization and understanding, not self-correction. This episode is for anyone who feels behind, tired, or unsure why the usual reset narrative isn’t working this year.In this episode, we explore:Why January feels harder for some people than othersHow lifespan stages (20s–60s+) shape nervous system capacityWhat’s typical, not wrong, about each decadeWhy Enneagram patterns shift as life demands changeThe difference between motivation and regulationHow balance begins with awareness, not pressureAs you listen, consider:What season of life am I actually in right now?What does balance look like for me in this decade, not in comparison to others?What might shift if I met this January with curiosity instead of urgency?If this conversation resonated, you may want to pause with the January Listener Reflection Guide or explore this month’s Enneagram content on Instagram for deeper integration.Rob Goetsch, LMHC, is a mental health counselor in Florida with experience working in college settings and private practice. His background includes work with substance use, trauma, anxiety, and interpersonal relationship issues, and he brings an evidence-based, grounded perspective to conversations around mental health and relational healing.DisclaimerThis episode is for education and reflection only and is not therapy, diagnosis, or a substitute for mental health treatment.
January Isn’t for Reinvention—It’s for Stabilization
January often carries pressure to reset, reinvent, or finally “get it together.” But that expectation ignores something essential: your nervous system and your season of life.In this relaunch episode of Enneagram with JB, Jackie reframes January through an Enneagram, lifespan, and nervous-system lens. Rather than pushing for change, this conversation invites understanding—why patterns feel louder in January, why motivation doesn’t work without regulation, and why balance looks different at every stage of life.This episode is for anyone who feels tired, foggy, or behind as a new year begins, and is ready for a gentler, more honest starting point.In This Episode:Why January often feels harder than expectedHow Enneagram patterns function as protection, not problemsRegulation before resolutionBalance through the lifespanReleasing comparison across seasons of lifeListener ReflectionWhat does my system need before it can move forward?Where might I be mistaking dysregulation for failure?What would it look like to meet this season with more compassion?Disclaimer: This episode is for education and reflection only and is not therapy, diagnosis, or a substitute for mental health treatment.
Dating and the Enneagram
This week I'm talking with my daughter, Ashlyn. Join us as discuss how Enneagram awareness can positively impact our approach to dating.Jackie's Instagram // Enneagram with JB
Same House, Different Stories
Today I'm talking with two very special guests: My sister Jennifer, an Enneagram 4, and my brother Rob, an Enneagram 6. Join us as we talk about growing up as siblings who experienced life, and our family household, in very different ways.Jackie's Instagram // Enneagram with JB
“Why do you always do that?”
Have you ever found yourself saying (or hearing), “Why do you always do that?” That frustration often comes from our Enneagram stance, the automatic way we move through the world.In this week’s episode Courtney and I talk about how stances shape our relationships, what’s happening in the brain when they get triggered, and how slowing down, practicing attunement, and building trust can change everything.Join us as we talk about how to move beyond reactivity and create healthier, more attuned relationships.Jackie's Instagram // Enneagram with JBCourtney's Instagram // Courtney B Coaching
I Know Too Much | With Courtney Bareman
The Enneagram is an incredible tool for helping us better understand ourselves and others. But sometimes we can focus more on the "others" than ourselves. Join Courtney and me as we discuss how each type can best utilize the Enneagram to foster true self-awareness and growth.Jackie's Instagram // Enneagram with JBCourtney's Instagram // Courtney B Coaching
What Does It Mean to Be Deeply Loved? | With Bill and Kristi Gaultiere
You were made to live deeply loved—even in the midst of emotional pain, worry, or conflict. But too often when we're overwhelmed or hurting, we end up hiding our hurts and hopes, settling for shallow relationships. What's missing? Empathy. Join me as I talk with Bill and Kristi Gaultiere about their new book, Deeply Loved, as they unpack what empathy looks like in real time.Jackie's Instagram // Enneagram with JBSoul Shepherding // Instagram
College Life From an Enneagram Six
Today I'm joined by a very special guest, my daughter Ashlyn, who is an Enneagram Six. Join us as talk college life and adjusting to new settings, situations and seasons — something we can all relate to. Jackie's Instagram // Enneagram with JB
What Does Emotional Regulation Have to Do With It?
This week Courtney Bareman and I discuss the value of emotional regulation through the lens of the Enneagram. Jackie's Instagram // Enneagram with JBCourtney's Instagram // Courtney B Coaching
Back to the Basics
The podcast is back! Join me as I sit down with fellow Enneagram coach Courtney Bareman to talk about the Enneagram and why it is worth exploring your type.Jackie's Instagram // Enneagram with JBCourtney's Instagram // Courtney B Coaching
Leading With Intention and Love
This week Courtney Bareman and I are continuing our conversation on the book Emotionally Healthy Spirituality. Join us as we discuss leading with intention and love.Jackie's Instagram // Enneagram with JBCourtney's Instagram // Courtney B Coaching
Exploring the Transformative Power of Daily Rhythms
This week Courtney and I explore the transformative power of daily rhythms, why they matter for our emotional and spiritual maturity, and how different Enneagram types may uniquely struggle with and benefit from these practices.Jackie's Instagram // Enneagram with JBCourtney's Instagram // Courtney B Coaching
Enlarging Your Soul Through Grief and Loss
This week Courtney Bareman and I are continuing our conversation on the book Emotionally Healthy Spirituality. Join us as we discuss walking through grief and loss, and how that may look for each Enneagram type.Jackie's Instagram // Enneagram with JBCourtney's Instagram // Courtney B Coaching
Going Back to Go Forward: How the Past Shapes Our Present
This week Courtney and I continue talking about the importance of emotional health as we discuss the book Emotionally Healthy Spirituality.Jackie's Instagram // Enneagram with JB websiteCourtney's Instagram // Courtney B Coaching
How To Be Healthy and Whole: Part 2
This week Courtney Bareman and I talk about the importance of emotional health as we discuss the book Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, and unpack principles from the book for each Enneagram type.Jackie's Instagram // Enneagram with JB websiteCourtney's Instagram // Courtney B Coaching
How To Be Healthy and Whole: Part 1
This week Courtney Bareman and I talk about the importance of emotional health as we discuss the book Emotionally Healthy Spirituality.Jackie's Instagram // Enneagram with JB websiteCourtney's Instagram
Fear, Autopilot and the Average Range: Breaking Free With the Enneagram
This month is all about reflection—getting honest about how and why we react the way we do, especially when stress hijacks our system. I’m calling out the chaos, the coping, and the compulsions, and inviting you into the quieter (but way more powerful) work of real growth. This week’s episode: Fear, Autopilot and the Average Range: Breaking Free With the Enneagram.Jackie's Instagram // Enneagram with JB website
What You Know But Aren’t Living Yet
This month is all about reflection—getting honest about how and why we react the way we do, especially when stress hijacks our system. I’m calling out the chaos, the coping, and the compulsions, and inviting you into the quieter (but way more powerful) work of real growth. This week’s episode: What You Know But Aren’t Living YetJackie's Instagram // Enneagram with JB website
From Insight to Integration: What To Do After the Aha Moment
Today I'm talking with my friend and fellow Enneagram coach Courtney Bareman about one of the most crucial parts of personal growth: moving from knowing to doing. Join us!Jackie's Instagram // Enneagram with JB websiteCourtney's Instagram
The Growth Is in the Pause
This month is all about reflection—getting honest about how and why we react the way we do, especially when stress hijacks our system. I’m calling out the chaos, the coping, and the compulsions, and inviting you into the quieter (but way more powerful) work of real growth. In this episode I break down the difference between reflection and rumination for each Enneagram type. Jackie | Instagram // Enneagram with JB
The Power of Reflection: How Looking Back Moves You Forward
In this episode I'm talking with my friend and fellow Enneagram Coach Ro Elliott. Join us as we discuss how reflection can impact your journey toward self-awareness and growth.Jackie | Instagram // Enneagram with JBRo | Instagram // Email: [email protected] // Imago Dei Consulting
Contemplative Growth with Ro Elliott | Part 2
Today I’m joined by my friend and fellow Enneagram coach, Ro Elliott. Join Ro and I as we continue our conversation on contemplative growth through the lens of the Enneagram. We’re sharing stories and insights that we hope will inspire you to dive deeper into your own personal story.Jackie | Instagram // Enneagram with JBRo | Instagram // Email: [email protected] // Imago Dei Consulting
Contemplative Growth with Ro Elliott | Part 1
Today I’m joined by my friend and fellow Enneagram coach, Ro Elliott. Join Ro and I as we discuss contemplative growth through the lens of the Enneagram. We’re sharing stories and insights that we hope will inspire you to dive deeper into your own personal story.Jackie | Instagram // Enneagram with JBRo | Instagram // Email: [email protected] // Imago Dei Consulting
Contemplative Growth with Courtney Bareman | Part 2
Today I’m joined by my friend and fellow Enneagram coach, Courtney Bareman. Join us for part two of our conversation about contemplative growth through the lens of the Enneagram.Jackie's Instagram // Enneagram with JB websiteCourtney's Instagram
Contemplative Growth with Courtney Bareman | Part 1
Today I’m joined by my friend and fellow Enneagram coach, Courtney Bareman. Join us as we talk about contemplative growth through the lens of the Enneagram.Jackie's Instagram // Enneagram with JB websiteCourtney's Instagram
Parenting with Mark D. Cummins (Enneagram 8) | Part 2
This episode is the second in a two-part conversation with Pastor Mark D. Cummins, the author of the bestselling book, IronParents: Training Kids To Go The Distance. Mark is a dynamic leader, author, podcast host and coach who ignites passion, fosters energy and inspires individuals to unlock their full potential. He is an Enneagram Eight who has raised two amazing daughters with his wife, Linda. Join Mark and I as we continue our discussion on the importance of intentional parenting. Jackie | Instagram // Enneagram with JBMark | Instagram // Website
Parenting with Mark D. Cummins (Enneagram 8) | Part 1
This episode is the first in a two-part conversation with Pastor Mark D. Cummins, the author of the bestselling book, IronParents: Training Kids To Go The Distance. Mark is a dynamic leader, author, podcast host and coach who ignites passion, fosters energy and inspires individuals to unlock their full potential. He is an Enneagram Eight who has raised two amazing daughters with his wife, Linda. Join Mark and I as we discuss the importance of intentional parenting. You don't want to miss this inspiring conversation.Jackie | Instagram // Enneagram with JBMark | Instagram // Website
The Enneagram & Love: Cracking the Code to Connection
Here's an early Valentine's Day gift: an episode dedicated to the Enneagram and love. Join me and my guest Ro Elliott as we discuss how you can apply the Enneagram to your romantic relationship.For more helpful tools and insights on the topic, check out my book, The Enneagram and Your Marriage.Jackie | Instagram // Enneagram with JBRo | Instagram // Email: [email protected] // Imago Dei Consulting
The Importance of Friendship
In this episode Courtney Bareman joins me to discuss the importance of friendship. We may think of friendship as something that just involves being social, yet it is so much more than that. When we give the gift of seeing, hearing, and understanding to our friends, we help them grow toward the healthiest version of themselves.Jackie's Instagram // Enneagram with JB websiteCourtney's Instagram